Judgemental.

STRESSED. Imagine your whole future is ruined because of that one mistake you made. Like you're being punished for your whole life for not being able to reach their expectations that one time, and second chances don't matter anymore. As if your ability is judged based on that mistake only. Come, be in my shoes. Feel how crappy I feel right now.
#coulduseashouldertocrynow.

The above is my Facebook status on 19th Oct 2011.
I feel.................shitty. Crappy. Down. Frustrated. Angry. Indescribable.

Honestly, I feel like I have no future anymore after I receive my Advanced Subsidiary results.
It was not good enough. In fact, it was very bad if compared to my previous achievements.
I am not boasting here, no intention at all.
But before, I never failed to score Aces.
But sometimes, you need to be at the very bottom of the wheel, to feel what others feel.
To know how to rise from fall.


But all I feel and know now is that, people are judging me based on my failure.
On that very one mistake that I made.
Yes, it was my fault. And yes, I am given a second chance to rise up again.
But I feel like my second chance means nothing, like it doesn't matter anymore to them.\
Like if you're a failure, you will always be one.


I am concerned, very worried about my forecast result.
My uni application depends heavily on that.
What's the point of having good results in the end if your forecast sucks?
Uni offers based on that! How am I going to leave for UK if I don't even get conditional offer!
What's the point of me struggling to get good results if I don't get a conditional offer???

DOWN