Don't wanna lose you now

I used to not trying at all. I thought it was easier, I thought things will fall into place.

Never have I been so wrong.

Then I tried. I guess, too much of anything isn't any good either. I was told that if I try hard enough, if I get to figure things out, things will happen.

But I was told I tried too much.

Here I am, sitting alone in the room, curling on my bed, thinking of what did I do? What didn't I do?

I was empty, to be frank. Empty that I couldn't care who came in and who went away in my life.
That's why my life had been monotonous, yet stable.

Until the day you came.

I was given love and hope. I started to feel, started to have hope, started to feel love.
I wasn't empty anymore.

Now all I feel are confusion, sadness, anxious like I know the day are going to come which we have to let go of each other, though how much I want to deny it, I can feel the day is getting closer.

A big lump in my throat, in my heart, in my stomach and in my head. I don't want to go out to deal with the rest today. =(