If you're not the one.

"If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?"

"I don't wanna run away but I can't take it I don't understand"

"Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?"

"Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away"

"And I breathe you into my heart and pray"

"Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right"


Rindu. =(

Don't wanna lose you now

I used to not trying at all. I thought it was easier, I thought things will fall into place.

Never have I been so wrong.

Then I tried. I guess, too much of anything isn't any good either. I was told that if I try hard enough, if I get to figure things out, things will happen.

But I was told I tried too much.

Here I am, sitting alone in the room, curling on my bed, thinking of what did I do? What didn't I do?

I was empty, to be frank. Empty that I couldn't care who came in and who went away in my life.
That's why my life had been monotonous, yet stable.

Until the day you came.

I was given love and hope. I started to feel, started to have hope, started to feel love.
I wasn't empty anymore.

Now all I feel are confusion, sadness, anxious like I know the day are going to come which we have to let go of each other, though how much I want to deny it, I can feel the day is getting closer.

A big lump in my throat, in my heart, in my stomach and in my head. I don't want to go out to deal with the rest today. =(

Infatuation. Love. Quizzes.

So... I've been thinking about my love life quite a lot lately. Well, part of it because there are more and more friends surrounding me are getting married/been married or even getting a baby (well, it's about that age of the life, who could blame them..) Another part is that my unmarried friends are going all out on fretting about not getting married, hahaha. But the major portion is that I've been wondering whether the decisions I made so far in my love life, are going to be standing strong until at least, I get married.....at the very least.

Sigh. How do I go on about this? Right. To save myself from all the confusion (and to fill my oh-so-overly-free-time) I read a lot of articles about love and recently did quite a few quizzes. My finding is that there is very very very thin line that separates love from infatuation. (Yes, I think I wrote about infatuation a few years back). Infatuation is so much alike with being in love, but it's not love. Confused? Haha. I.e, the attraction of the idea of being in love, not actually the same as being in love.

Note, having to know about infatuation and love is vital because it saves you years in your life, save you from wasting your time, energy and money on what could have been saved if you sit back, relax. and reflect upon yourself...and your partner.

Magazines and television have been feeding us with the idea of "romantic love". They make it sound like we will be "swept off our feet", "floating on cloud nine" when we have love. Well, that's true, but not all the time. Love is an ongoing struggle I might say based on what I experience so far. Every single matter on this Earth experience changes, so do our feelings. Different actions need to be taken to accommodate the changes.

Sure, easier to talk than do. It seems so easy to love (or fall in love). Everything else does not matter when you have love. Well, danggg that's not true! Everything matters if you have love. Love needs hard work and commitment. Infatuation is something when you feel everything is easy. Easy to love him, easy to communicate, easy to understand each other and easy to give up.

No, nothing precious is ever easy. You need to work to earn it. In this entry, I will write down a few things that I think helped me to understand whether my relationship is an infatuation or...real love. =)

So, here it goes....Try to be honest as you can. Hey, you only deceive yourself if you lie.

1. What is the major attraction?

Infatuation: High chance the first thing that comes to your mind is the physical equipment of the other person.

Love: The total personality. Physical attractions could be thrilling, but it's just one of the many things.

My answer: Love.


2. How many things about that person attract you?

Infatuation: Usually few in number, but very appealing.

Love: Most of the qualities attract you. how many have you observed and how many attract you?

My answer: I don't know. Never really though about it. Must think from now on.


3. How did it start?

Infatuation: Fast, no such thing as love at first sight (again, magazines and tv brainwashing you) but there is infatuation at first sight.

Love: Very slowly. Love takes a lot of your time to be built up and stood strong.

My answer: Love.


4. How consistent is your interest?

Infatuation: Blows hot and cold. Your interest grew so fast that the base/root is shallow. Whole relationship is shallow.

Love: Feeling are slow and tender. Feelings grow slowly, but root goes deep.

My answer: Love.


5. How does it affect your personality?

Infatuation: Has disorganising effect on your personality. You walk around daydreaming. You feel like everything just falls into place,everything is beautiful and perfect. You're on cloud nine.

Love: The one will bring out your best qualities...AND make you want to be a better person. You plan and prepare.

My answer: Love.


6. How do you see each other?


Infatuation: Your world, your daily purpose of life seems to be revolved around that person. You tend to neglect other relationships.

Love: Your beloved is the most important, but you don't give less treatment to other relationships as you used to.

My answer: Love in terms of human relationships, but towards my belief (our Maker) hmmmm... the biggest concern.


7. How do others view your relationship?

Infatuation: Blind love. Everything is perfect to you but chances are your family and friends direct or indirectly disapprove. Search for their signs.

Love: Blessings and approval, blessings and approval, from others. Mags and tvs might make you think "Oh to hell with what they think of him/her! I'm not marrying ang of them, I'm marrying him/her!" Well dear, no one with good heart will go against your love, unless you are blinded by infatuation.

My answer: I don't know. This what concerns me. He does not approve that we get that personal with our other beloved ones. Hmmm.. couldn't blame him though, considering our differences and what their reactions will be.


8. What does distance do?

Infatuation: Time and distance will kill the relationship. Your feelings will numb over time, you're worried if you don't meet soon, you will lose interest.

Love: Absence makes your hear grow fonder. The time you spent will cause your personalities to 'grow together'. When you are apart, you feel empty, anxious as well sad. You're worried if the other person finds somebody else, but you don't lose interest in him/her.

My answer: Surprisingly love. But I could say, one out of 7 times, I'm quite worried if I lose interest. I'm being honest here. (pssstt.. If you are worried your significant other would lose interest, duhh~ rekindle your relationship, do surprises, change habits or whatever to make him/her happy! Sacrifices people, sacrifices!)


9. How do quarrels affect the romance?

Infatuation: Quarrel is often. You kiss and make up a lot, but quarrels too become more often and severe.

Love: There are disagreements, but you both will live through them. Quarrels become less often. You learn how to handle conflicts and to discuss things openly and frankly.

My answer: Love....and Infatuation? I admit it is because of him that I learn how to be patient and to think beyond myself when solving conflicts. He is always the reasonable one, opening up the table for discussions. But I too feel like we quarrel a lot. So, how?


10. How do you refer to your relationship?

Infatuation: You think of your relationship in terms of two people; I, my, mine, and he, him, his. You think that you both as two separate people.

Love: We, us, ours.

My answer: Hmm...mostly infatuation? Oh no. Something to be improved.


11. Are you selfish or selfless?

Infatuation: Your interest in the other person is primarily selfish. Usually, looks are important. Why are you in this relationship?? Because you think of the advantages that benefit you mostly. If you date the head of the cheerleader, people will look upon you in awe.

Love: You love the person for who he/she is. Not what can they offer to feed your ego.

My answer: Love. But I'd like to see some improvement for his own good. I know I have to work with him.


12. What is your overall response?

Infatuation: You are mainly concerned abut what you can get out of the relationship.

Love: Your attitude is what you can offer to make the both of you happy, not about whether or not he/she could devote themselves to see you happy.

My answer: Trying my best to offer instead of getting, some room for improvement. Not easily, love.


So... what are you waiting for? Go ahead and try yourself! Just be honest. =)

P/s: When I say improvements... I wonder if my significant other has ever thought of willingly improving for the sake of us?

the 'FORGOTTEN'

wOOOoooohohoho totally forgotten about this blog!
Gosshhhh I self-pity. How can I forget this??!

I shall be back!!!

BTW, this is my life currently...in snapshots!

Oi A-Level oi cepatlah habisss!!

Honestly? Currently I feel...quite lonely. Forever Alone. Hehehhe.
Because it's past midnight and I'm still sitting here on my chair doing work on my desk.
I've been in this position for one whole day!!

Tell me, PENAT KE TAK PENAT TU????

Nothing much to update.
Trials are in 7 days time.
And  I'm killing myself over the weekend.

Just hope that I meet the requirement to go to Exeter.
Ya Allah, kau bantu lah aku lari dari Malaysia sekejap. Amin.
Hehehehe..

Ouh yeaaaa.... things are getting better and duller at the same time.
Just hope the exams will finish soon so I could review what I want to actually do with my teenage life.
CEPATLAAAHHH HABISSSS!!!

p/s: Hear rumours, don't make rumours. Okay girls???

A NOTE TO SELF

Now I know why people like to make emo entries....
I still hate it, but I'm going to write this one down anyway.

For the past few days, I've been trying hard to make myself busy.
Be around people, do fun stuff, visit places.
Because it seems easier to ignore and deny the sadness rather than dealing with it.

You see, how I thought of becoming cold-hearted, emotionless could make me stronger.
I was wrong...

I forget how does it feel to feel, but once I had a taste of it, I was intoxicated.
I tasted the good and the bad of having feelings.
When the bad comes, I forget how to handle it. I become weak instead.

It's just so unfair to me when you treated me like that.
Accusations, tests,isolation and almost everything I could handle,
but when the cupid strikes, makes love present in me, I become vulnerable.

It seems a lot easier to toss away matters when they get serious.
Why didn't I do it when it comes to you? I regret.

Yes. IT IS HARD TO BE IN MY SHOES.
I'm trying hard to be supportive to you, as a good friend.
But facing you right now, it's like spreading salt onto the wound.

No I didn't like you that much, but still, I started to.
When I propose that we should stop, why didn't you just agree to it?

I am so sorry. I am not angry because this happens.
I am just angry that you treated me so specially, angry that I let myself opened for you.

I warned myself before, I even assured my friends that I will not fall for you.
But I'm still a girl.
9 months of constantly restrain myself from it,I finally lose the battle.

I want to be there so badly for you especially when times like this,
when you need me most to support you.
But I just can't.
I just have to save myself first.

It sounds selfish.
But it's the only way I know how to pick things up when they fall apart.
I am sorry...

Just a note to self, DON'T MAKE EXCEPTIONS.
Stick to it once you've decided.
In this case, stick to not falling in love.

7 things that could make a girl go cold-hearted.

Sometimes I prefer having no feelings at all than weeping over emotions. 


Truth is spilled. Time to make a crucial decision. Hard to move on, even harder to let go.

Not the best move I cherish. But the rightest thing to do.

"Everybody's looking for that something.

One thing that makes it all complete.

You find it in the strangest places.

Places you never knew it could be.

Some find it in the face of their children.

Some find it in the lover's eyes.

Who can deny the joy it brings.

When you find that special thing.

You're flying without wings."  

Still finding for that special thing. 

It may come when you don't look for it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Top 7 things that makes a girl to stop doing what girls do best, viewing life from her heart.

1)  Rough childhood experience

2) Betrayed by people who she had given her trust to.

3) She is rejected when she really loves someone

4) She forgets how does it feel like to live life.

5) Power craze. She forgets what women are supposed to be. Caring and selfless.

6) High expectation. When she demands high, she could be really mean.

7) The most common reason, she's getting tired of her every bit of emotions. Usually caused by failing in love life, constantly. In simple words, when she gives up hopes on love...

The Way I See It...

*I'm currently listening to "Bless The Broken Road" - Rascal Flatts. Takda kena mengena, tapi saja nak bagitahuuu, so boleh tambah mood sambil baca nih*

INI MANUSIA DUA OLANG PELEMPUAN.

iya kami rapat dari kecik hingga laaaahhhh sampai tua panjang hot comel macam ni (okay geli)

Dulu dulu ada impian nak kawin sama-sama (BUKAN KAHWIN DENGAN EACH OTHER, tapi cari jodoh sama-sama laaahhhh haiyaaaa)

Tapi itu jodoh semua kuasa ALLAH kan... 

Terkisah la.. Perempuan yang dekat sebelah kiri tu dah terjumpa jodoh dia.

Okay bukan TERjumpa, sebenarnya dah lama dekat depan mata, tapi ALLAH tu baru nak bukak pintu hati dia kut. So terjadi laaahhh perkahwinan tak lama lagi.

Point saya di sini ialah, detailed mana pun manusia tu merancang, tinggi mana manusia tu berangan, perancangan ALLAH lagi baguuuusssss... 

Okay, Warda, stop guna bahasa pelik pleaaassseeee...

Anyway, since I'm in my drama mood, my point of writing this is to elaborate how do I see our situation here.

These two people were born in the same year, the same extended family. 

And they were (and still are) meant to be close, be there for each other. 

Allah tu Maha Adil. Dia percepatkan jodoh yang kiri tu, and yang kanan ni bukan main SUSAH laaa haiiii nak jumpa even stable boyfriend pun! Hahahaha (I shouldn't be laughing, but I find this funny hehehe) 

Sebab Allah tu Maha Adil la, dia tahuuu kalau yang kanan ni duduk kat Malaysia, dia pun tak pasal-pasal sibuk gak nak cari jodoh cepat-cepat. Macam mana kalau dia dah jumpa jodoh dia, tapi yang si bakal husband ni tak ready nak kahwin??? Haaaa.... kan dah conflict! Hehehe..

So, dengan izin Allah, Allah pun berilah rezeki dekat si kanan ni untuk sambung studies dekat oversea (Alhamdulillah... provided mesti lulus requirement!)... Saja, konon-konon nak distract yang kanan ni dari sibuk nak cari jodoh jugak! Haha. 

(mana lah tahuuu tetiba jumpa jodoh dekat UK kee.. hambooooiiii kemain hahaha)

*hoi kalau la dapat yang nihh... Takkan pernah nak cari gaduh dengan diaaa! Hehehe*

Insya Allah, Allah tolong yang kanan tu capai hasrat dia untuk bantu yang susah one daaayyy... Amin. To complete the needs of those unfortunate ones, insya Allah with her knowledge. Tu sebab Allah lambatkan jodoh dia kut. So dia tak distracted dalam mission dia nak bina 'masjid' untuk orang-orang susahhh...

Untuk yang kiri tu pulak. Allah has destined her to complete the life of one great man. And mana tahuuuu, sebagai penyumbang kelahiran bakal anak-anak soleh dan solehah yang boleh pimpin Malaysia ni in the nearest future. Kaaannn? Betul taaakkk? Untunngggg Malaysia. =D

The way I see it..... Two people were born together, live together, laugh together, cry together, be mad together, buat pahala together, buat dosa together, but they are destined to two separate path in the end. 

Untuk yang kiri dan kanan ni, eventhough takdir terdekat kita ni dah lain sikit, hahahaha, may we make the most out of it okay?  =)  

NUR DIANAH & SOFFIAN ARIFF

May they remain as lawful husband & wife, lovers, best friends until Jannah...

pssssttt : Jangan sampai yang kanan tu jadi andartu (old maiden) sudaaah sebab cita-cita punya pasal. Hahahahaha 

               =_________="   okay tak kelakar sebenarnya.

In dire need of....

I know I said I hate long-emo-whining-posts on blogs, but I am in dire need of writing this down.

I've been having thoughts quite a lot lately.

About how to face the  uncertain future?

The ever-so-unsuccessful-love-life.

Where is the circle of friends?

the deep thinking of where do I stand in my iman (religion)?

THE FUTURE
I don't know. Living in KDU has made me turn into an emo shite I guess. The pressure from every side, every angle of college life is getting to me. Not that I lost my grip, THANK GOD I get to keep my sanity. It's not the usual pressure where you-have-to-stay-in-to-study-while-your-friends-get-to-have-all-the-fun-type of pressure. It's more to mental exhaustion. I still could keep up with pressure on studies and all. But I no longer want to be in KDU as much as I used to. Just 6 more months and I'm done! Truth be told, I feel like KDU is just a 'drop-by' place. 2 years period of a drop-by. (BM translation : tempat persinggahan) Not a place I look forward to stay. Well, maybe yes, I'll miss the people and environment once I'm done, but not the experience there. Why am I being so negative? I don't know. But I hate this feeling. Something has to be done.

THE-EVER-SO-UNSUCCESSFUL-LOVE-LIFE
I could say this one has a little bit of funny-ness inside. Haha. Maybe the fact that many people surrounding me, especially my age, is engaged soon to be married that has pushed me into messing up my mind with this thought. Blergh. No, don't get me wrong. It's not like I feel urged to get married soon or what. No no no. Never crossed my mind, never been in my 5 years plan. At first, when I start to think of these things, I wanted a stable (at least ) real relationship. You know, the boyfriend girlfriend thingy, serious but with no ties. But after some further thoughts, I don't really mind. I'm not in a hurry to find a partner. But sometimes, it crosses my mind, why can't I find someone that I could finally be in love, for real? Where is he? You know, the last time I think I was almost in love was when I was 16. My first love, Izdiyad Fathullah. He was my first. And those who has experienced first love, you know that palpitating heartbeat, head rush, cant breathe kinda feeling? Yeah, that was the last time I really felt that way. And I dont think it was a real love, considering I got over him so soon, I think I was just excited to the idea of having a boyfriend (incest, infatuation). But all of these events, made me think, why do I get to meet many interesting guys,but don't get to meet 'him'? It's either I feel too comfortable with a guy that I friend-zoned him or I have trust issues with the guy or I'm plainly afraid to take risks (I hate the last one the most, I keep taking the U-turn road). To Allah, I leave this matter.

THE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS
I feel so lucky because I'm blessed to meet and to be close with so many interesting people here in KDU, that eventually it kinda affects my relationship with my friends back in hometown. We rarely talk to each other nowadays, let alone meet. Most of it due to schedule clashes. This worries me though. And now I have to put most of my strength, focus, interests ( I might as well say a big portion of my life) onto my studies, that I dont go back home as much as I did to meet them. Argh. What will happen to us once I (insya Allah, if God wills) go to UK? Will we get to keep this unsinkable friendship? Or will it fades away with time?

MY IMAN
Growing up and growing away from home has given me a challenge, BIG TIME. Back at home, I have my parents to remind me to be close to Allah. But here, I have to constantly remind myself. And it's hard when you live in the heart of the city, with your friends,with all the fun and freedom you could have. I can feel the distance between Allah and I. I hate it. I miss the relationship that I had with him. So serene,so feel protected. I do realise sometimes that I have strayed from His path. But I tend to do it again. I have longed for a journey of soul-searching, a journey to find Him, to find His blessings again. I pray to Him that He isn't mad for forgetting to remember Him. Ya Rabb, Ya Karim, in you I lay my faith, my soul, and my life.

F-ZONED!!

Imagine that you're a guy (well, if you're a female reader) and your female friend says this to you,
"Let's be just friends" Oooooouuuuhhhhhhhhhh.... CURSED WORDS! (for guys)

FRIEND ZONE informally means

Yeap! You got that right!

Here's the formal definition :

A dating term describing a relation in which one partner wants to become intimate romantically while the other prefers to be just friends. ~ Wikipedia

I'd like to ask men what is their reaction to this?

And I'd like to ask women how many male friends have they friend-zoned before?

Because statistically proven, when asked about

"Can a male and a female be just friends?"
It is the women that mostly said yes.

8 out of every 10 men said NO.

So, this is mostly a men's problem huh? 

Hey, I'm not saying that girls have never been friend-zoned before.

There are minor cases. Very, very minor.

Personally, I think that friend zone is a phase where a man has finally realised that they will never be the man the girl is talking about. Females are generally (and easily) acceptance to having a relation with males without romantically involved. Whereas, males cannot.

TRUST ME when I say, every friendship has to face a phase where either one or both will feel intimacy towards each other. 

If it's both, then it's good.

If it's only one party, uuuuu gotta prepare what's coming ahead mister!

Boys, don't think we don't realise that you have feelings for us.
But once you have been friend-zoned, it is best for us to avoid the topic.

And pretend that we don't know.

As long as you don't bring that up.

Talking from experience, girls, have you ever felt this before?
Like you need him,but you never have a thought of taking it to the next level?

Every time you have a story to share, it is he the one you go for.

Every time you have a problem,it is he you call.

Every time you are alone,it is he you hang out with.

But you still search for THE ONE to be there for you.

Yeah? Been there done that?

You have friend-zoned the FRIEND.

Like you cannot accept even a thought of kissing him 

elsewhere besides the cheek and the forehead. 

Now, how do we able to be with each other without feeling romantic?

I don't know why...it's our nature I guess. =D

Is there a CURE for this? 

Sure there is. I'll spill the beans in the next entry.

Til then. CHIAO!!

The Perfect V-Jay-Jay

OUCHHHHHH!!! WARNING! WARNING!!! This content is not for those with a heart failure.
(Even I skipped watching 'those' scenes)

Anyways, I know I know it's been a loooongg time since I last updated this. Too busy running a marathon of watching "Charmed". Hehe,old school eyy?

Anyways, I was browsing through the internet, and  i stumbled upon
Documentary Heaven webpage.

Since I cannot download the documentary that I watched, here's the link : 

http://documentaryheaven.com/the-perfect-vagina/

At the very start of the video (okay I'm not used to it sooo...) AAAAWWWWCCHHH! She waxed her below part. Ouch.

Okay, basically this video is about teenage girls in the UK having plastic surgery on their vaginae that the business has skyrocketed over the few past years. Here's a quote from the page,

this documentary focuses on the rise in vaginal cosmetic surgery, specifically labiaplasty. For the uninitiated, labiaplasty involves cutting off the inner labia so that they don’t ‘hang’ below the outer labia.

 Ouch. I don't understand medical terms but I know it must hurts.

Why do they even want to have parts of their vaginae removed?
I understand the surgery helps them psychologically. But there are more ways to embrace their natural bodies rather than having blood gushing out just to fix it surgically. Please watch this video, I could not elaborate more, this entry would be very long.

There's a view in this video from the Muslims' perspective.

I mean, as a Muslim, I personally think that the girl in this video 

should gather her every last pieces of courage 

and have her man knows her mistake. 

She was involved in fixing her hymen (translation : dara)

 surgically after having sex with her then boyfriend. 

Fixing her hymen is the same as lying to her man. 

I believe that every woman is matched with her other half.

 I am sure the other half could eventually accept her mistake. 

After all, seriously woman, change your mentality. 

Losing your hymen is not worse than death. Don't exaggerate. 

And here's another video that I watched about three women being in love with objects.
http://documentaryheaven.com/married-to-the-eiffel-tower/

One is married to the Eiffel Tower.
She has a lover, the Berlin Wall.
And she has a friend who made out with a carnival fun ride called 100 Nacht.
And she's still in love with the Empire State Building and a church fence.

I find this very odd, peculiar,wrong.

But after awhile, I have respect on them for having

sooo much love in their hearts.
Even normal people ignore that quality. 

WELL, HAPPY WATCHING!

New stage.

I bumped into a new word today ; INFATUATION.


Infatuation means an object of foolish or extravagant passion.

Infatuation in a relationship means the love towards the idea of being with someone. Not the love towards someone.

Hmmmmm...

Now, this is something.

A new term that I could use for my endless short relationships?

Or there is no relationship after all?

Hmmmmm....

I catch myself liking someone, A LOT

but I could not bring myself to express it.

Is it because I'm afraid that I might get hurt?

Possible.

Is it because I just love the idea of being in a relationship (infatuation)?

Possible. 

AAAAUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!

I DROVE 130km/h ALL THE WAAAAAYYY JUST TO WATCH 

HARIMAU MUDA IN ACTION! AAAAUUUMMMMM!!!

(what? I'm a girl. And I still have my P license. 130 all the way is fast enough for me.)

=p

Unfortunately I missed the first half.

There was this one goal by an Indonesian dude,

and one goal from BADDROL our young tiger! Aaauuummmmm!!!

And then nothing happened during the second half....

Just a few missed goals here and there.

And they gave 30 mins extra time since it was a tie until the 90th minute.

Fuuuhhhh~ tell me.

My heart almost jumped out TWICE.

Because there were two offside goals from both GARUDA and TIGERS.

And soooo...here came the PENALTY KICKS!

GARUDA missed out two goals.

TIGERS missed one goal (FAKRI's fault!).

So...

ALL HAIL HARIMAU MUDAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!

Yeaaaa..... I watched football alone while skype-ing with my two BROS, ETY and ADAM.

SAD. Hahaha

Crap.

I am sooo sorry to be posting about my hopelessness lately.

SOMETIMES it is just soooo hard to stand strong and be tough. 

I think it's not fair to be condemned over one mistake. 

Your whole future is damned ruined because of that single mistake. 

Being double standard and underestimated, are two things that I'm experiencing for the first time.

And I.DON'T.LIKE.IT.

It was MY mistake, I have regretted, and now I'm snatching every second chances that exist.
Why don't give me one last opportunity instead of condemning?
This is how I recently feel about my lecturers; (screen captured; those in red circles)

One good thing (trying to take things positively,as always. Haih) is that 

I get to learn how to handle rejection (dramatic much!) and underestimation.

This could make me stronger..

And I'm growing TOUGHER! Yeah.

And like my mum said :

"Some people (indirectly referring to me) are at their best when working under pressure"

Ok thanks bye. I have books to be studied!

Maths exam this Thursday! Break a pen Warda!

A thought.

Just having a thought ;

"When you love someone and the feeling is mutual, you don't need to compete to get him/her. There'll be no competition, no testing, no games."

What if the third person makes you think that you're in a game?
Or is it you the third person?
Hmmm.....


#doubtfulthoughtsaremessingwithmymind.  =/

AWESOME-NESS!

There are sooooo much I want to blurt out here that I can't even find words to describe them! Yay!
Long story short...
I started off my day with the shittiest feeling ever...
Not to forget that I'm having a slight fever and heavy flu + sore throat + diarrhea.
And I think I'm reaching that time of the month which made me feel like throwing tantrum out of nowhere.
(It's good it's good to be a girl when you can blame it all on the hormones) =D

And I woke up with the fact dawned on me that today is my parents' 20th ANNIVERSARY!

 

my mum looks more like a chinese than a malay

So anyway, originally I had a dinner out plan with the girls but I had to cancel on them last minute.

And then that was when it all started. Everyone got frustrated and emo shite.
Everyone started opening their hearts up. Everyone got emotional.
And we had THE talk. You know, the honest talk.
Soon after, it felt soooo good after everyone told each other what were their problems.

You know the feeling of awesome-ness when you were at the bottom of the wheel,
then you blurt it all out and suddenly you feel like you're at the top again?

I wanted to do speeches about these people but then it will be too draggy.
These people are just.....AWESOME.

10 years of friendship. One decade weh!

Seksualiti Merdeka!!

Seksualiti Merdeka adalah suatu acara tahunan mengenai hak seksualiti yang diadakan di Kuala Lumpur, dengan kerjasama segabungan NGO Malaysia (di antaranya Malaysian Bar Council, SUARAM, Empower, PT Foundation, United Nations, Amnesty International) dan individu-individu. Kami mengadakan bengkel-bengkel, perbincangan, pemutaran filem, penulisan surat dan hal-hal yang lain berkaitan seksualiti. Kami menggunakan istilah 'Seksualiti Merdeka' untuk mengingatkan bahawa walaupun kita telah berpuluh tahun Merdeka, namun tidak semua rakyat Malaysia yang dapat melahirkan diri mereka yang sebenar. 
Kami percaya bahawa setiap orang di Malaysia berhak untuk bebas dari diskriminasi, keganasan ataupun gangguan hanya kerana orientasi seksual dan identiti jantina mereka. Kami percaya bahawa kita semua berhak untuk bertanggungjawab terhadap tubuh kita sendiri. Kami percaya setiap orang berhak untuk menyayangi dan disayangi, sama ada dia gay, lesbian, biseksual, transgender, heteroseksual, aseksual, pansexual dan sebagainya. 
PS: LGBT = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender!

I mean WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT??!!!

Eh hello! Ini eastern country! Bukan WESTERN! Gilo munggggg...

AT least if you want to claim your rights, no need to do it like this okay.

Even in the States this has become an issue for them, 

what more us, the eastern Muslim country!

Okay lah, to be fair, even if we were not a Muslim country,

this IS still an issue!

We have already face a lot of moral problems, 

we seriously don't need this. 

This is like what? Encouraging Malaysians to commit sexual deviation?

Not like youngsters nowadays can think properly act rationally.

Lagi mau racun pemikiran kitorang ke?

You can have your rights, do it quietly.

We don't always get what we want.

As a Muslim, I personally think this is a big embarrassment 

towards Malaysia as a Muslim country

if this rally happens.

Not that I am against nor I support this kind of sexual desire,

but please... to have a rally on this kind of matter,

is just too absurd.

We are still easterners, we're supposed to show the Western people

how to behave as a rational human-being, not to follow them. 

Just my two cents of thought.

Let's focus more on how to develop the country

instead of entertaining this crap issue.
And if this happens, later on the drug addicts
also wanna have a rally fighting for your their freedom to have drugs?
Hey I'm just saying.

Jealousy is in the air.

Ok so I was browsing through Facebook with a lot of things on my mind.
And I found this Facebook page of an ex-schoolmate of mine (and it all started with stalking my friend's brother. TEEHEE I'm such a stalker I feel bad)   =p


Anyway, continue. I browsed through her pictures reminiscing the old times we had. And this one picture she took a shot with her college friend. Caption is "My new partner in crime"
And below it, her best friend from high school commented "You've found new friends. I feel sad" 


This made me think, how many of us actually had this feeling before? Sense of inferior, intimidated, jealousy, fear  of a best friend having a new best friend? 

I should know, because it happened to me. Just recently, I do, I really feel bad for forgetting to wish my best friend's birthday on time. I feel really really really bad about it. And I apologised and I hope she accepts it. But my concern is, she thought wrongly that my absence of wish was because I don't remember her as frequent as I used to. 


She made this Facebook status that hit straight on me "Saya tahu saya ni takdalah cool macam kawan kawan awak yang lain tu (I know I'm not as cool as your other friends)"   Not even one second that I thought of comparing my friends! Call this an excuse, but I seem to lose track of time very easily nowadays, and it was entirely my fault for forgetting her birthday. But to think that I compare them, is just a shallow judgement. 


I don't know. At one point, when I saw my best friend giving more attention to other friends, it made me jealous for awhile. But I came to learn not to bother. 


When you are special to someone, you know you will always reserve a place in her life.
I read this once
"Guys go flirt with all girls all day long. But in the end, he knows where he belongs to"
The same concept applies to friendship.

"The only unsinkable ship is FRIENDSHIP"


So, will you let your friends to have new friends?


p/s : I thought of putting pictures of those close to me, but it seems that I keep getting more special people in my life. Someday maybe I'll compile those pictures into an album. Plus, I don't need pictures to tell how special they are to me. =)

Dicky!

Nothing exciting is happening to me currently. Why ohhh WHYYYYY????
Got a lot of studying to do. And friends to catch up with.

"Warda you better score!!! Go fly to UK and find a husband!"  Okthanksbye.

BTW, I can't get this word out of my head.

 

and no, I am not a pervert. It means CAR BOOT you perv!